Title: Why?
Author: androgena82
Fandom: Supernatural Characters
: introspective Dean
Rating: G
Series: Season 4 ep. 08
Disclaimer: The characters are taken from the TV series which does not hold any rights. Everything that is written belongs to my fantasy ... and nothing more! Any profit ... provided that Jensen does not want to make a donation in kind ... that does not refuse ever!
"Why ... why insist?"
How many times have you wanted your brother to stop crying?
* I've tried hundreds of times to try to put two words together, I would have settled for two words to describe what I saw Sam in there ... I know you know I remember ... but I can not ... it's worse than a nightmare, worse than any fantasy horror ... worse ... worse than remember it ... He asked me how many times there ... I think it does because after all who fear him ... he knows that what he is doing will lead him where I have been ... maybe if I could tell, maybe ... no, would not change anything because anything I say anyway, will not make a penny than what's there ... what I saw, what I felt ... what I heard.
Over there I lived surrounded by the flames, I lived a life ... because one day in hell is a long lifetime and you lose track of time, because there is no sunrise or sunset to indicate to the mutar of the day ... just echoes of violent screams to shape the time ... and there is no physical pain to live in the flames, because your body is made of fire ... and there is no pain in ' be beaten, because your body is made of cement ... and there are no words to say what I saw ... because of his eyes was completely covered my body that I saw so many things to be unable to distinguish from each other ...
fight ... all the time ... for what? To survive? For power? For supremacy? No ... none of that ... we were fighting because it is the only law that exists because there ... those who fight will have a place of honor, because whoever wins the fight and is feared by others ... and if you are afraid you have the power to decide what must be done ... and those who fight and loses ... will be sentenced to torture and atrocities ; until someone you will not be forgotten him struggle ... because the only thing that was still allowed to exist in the minds of our adversaries ... I remember when all you forget someone's soul would be lost and ... hope to go back would vanish in breath ...
And slowly I felt my soul slipping between my fingers ... as if you were running and the sweat was carrying me away ... how much of my soul I really Left? How much of myself I have left?
I do not feel that much really changed ... I think Castiel has picked me for every drop of soul that he fainted and has kept for me, then when donandomela saved me ... This is ... this happened ... I think if I stayed still in hell ... but my soul would slip away and inexorable time I would have changed ... changed in what I'm hunting ...
I can not sleep ... I can not eat ... I drink, I drink in the vain illusion of lull because what I remember ... ; I can not forget ... it is a privilege that I was denied this time ... it's so ... so do not forget, but I will not allow this to my mission on earth go to hell ...
I do not care of the divine mission "Save the world" ... is just bullshit ... it's just the excuse that he used an angel to pull me out of there ... the wrong person and not even realize it, poor bastard ... my only mission on earth is to protect ... protect ... Sammy
Because that is ; hell ... that to me is the eternal tribulation ... live this life without Sammy *
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